Cling to the scripture

Sigh. We’re here. we’re actually here. The team has arrived weary from long flights and bumpy bus rides, but we are so anticipating what God is going to do on this trip. Relationships are already being formed, and lessons already being learned. Libby had said, “half of your journey begins before you even get there. I believe that to be true.

The months leading up to arriving on Israel soil have been so refining and stretching, I have already learned so much, by His grace.

Jesus has taught me so much through my weakness, where His strength can be found. And believe me, there is a lot of weakness that needed to be transformed.

I don’t know how many flights of those concrete stairs that I had to climb, up and down 5,6,7 sometimes 8 times in a row in order to build up my physical strength to prepare for this moment. It was discouraging and trying at times, especially when all I could hear was my breath hissing its way out of my mouth, and my heart pounding in my ears, indignant that I would ask it to pump much quicker than it is used to. Often times I would gather my weighted body and try and drag it up those stairs reciting to myself, “He is a light unto my path. one foot in front of the other.” I also would cling to the scripture found in Isaiah, “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I would pray as I would slowly make my way up, “Jesus, sustain me. Walk with me.” And He did. By His grace, I would make it to the top, and each time was a little tiny miniature victory of joy, and i knew Jesus was strengthening me. I think climbing those stairs taught me just how much I need Jesus in every single moment, from breath to breath, one step to the next. I also believe that lesson will carry with me as I am now here, in Israel, and we are about to walk the rich soil, make our way across the desert, and I will need Jesus to walk with me, one foot in front of the other.

The physical training and preparation certainly was a big learning and refining time for me, for which i am so thankful to have had. I don’t think I have ever pushed myself so hard, and I really did need Jesus to sustain me in such a spot where i was so painfully weak.

That seems to have been the pattern here, me wallowing in weakness, and Jesus offering his gentle hand and guidance, drawing me to Himself. He is so good and faithful, I am so undeserving that He would take the time to walk with me, and strengthen me with His presence and rich promises.

I arrive in Israel tonight, humbled, softened, and clinging to Jesus more than ever. I do not want to try and do any of this on my own, because I am most assured that I will fail. I surrender all the weaknesses that might have clouded my way. my life is not my own, my body is not my own, my strength is found in nowhere else but Jesus,

Thank you Jesus for preparing my faint heart and my little feeble body for such a time as this. Please meet me in the desert and speak tenderly to me.

-jana english