When Fear Leads to Faith

by Mackenzie Messinger

Today was a BIG day! Beginning with a boat ride across the Sea of Galilee, our Israeli guide, Ronen, informed us about what fishing would have looked like in the first century, which set the scene for what Bunga had to teach us. We walked through the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4, focusing on the fact that in the storms of life we have Jesus in our boat. He encouraged us to think about where our fear is, whether in the storm or in the one who can calm the storm with a word.

After deboarding the boat we hopped on the bus and drove to Tel Jezreel, which overlooks the Jezreel Valley. After learning the story of Naboth's vineyard from Ronen, we were encouraged to do some digging ourselves into the passage of 1 Samuel 28, the story of Saul and the medium at En-dor. In this story Saul's misplaced fear drove him to do extreme things, eventually costing him his life. We were left with the question once again, Where is your fear?

The next stop, Harod Spring (which is at the foot of Mt. Gilboa), was a turning point for me. This spring is thought to be a potential spot that God used to narrow down Gideon's army in Judges 7, just before going to war with the Midianites. Just before, in Judges 6, there is the infamous story of Gideon testing God with his fleece, seeking assurance that God will actually use him to deliver Israel from the Midianites. Here, Gideon's lack of faith is made evident by his unwillingness to obey without a "sign." This hit home with me as I reflected on my own "Gideonesque" experience and how in the midst of my stubborness and fear I refused to obey unless God gave me assurance that this was the right decision. I was humbled as I listened to Matt talk about how little faith Gideon had, and yet how gracious God is in giving him that assurance through his fleece. God is gracious in meeting us where we are at, even if that is fearfully beating out wheat in a winepress like Gideon. He loves us enough do whatever it takes to bring us to opportunities for faith, just as he did with Gideon and myself.

The last two stops were pagan cities in the Decapolis, Beth She'an and Susita, where idols were worshiped and people did what they believed to be true, Vegas on steroids if you will. Throughout the entirety of the trip, Matt has emphasized the wickedness of these cities, which made it difficult to imagine that any good could ever come out of them. However, at the very end of the day Matt informed us that by the 4th century the entire Decapolis region had been converted to Christianity and that churches had been found in those cities. I think we were all shocked at the power of the God we serve, and convicted with the question, "how does my disbelief change my behavior?"

The theme of today, and really the entire Israel trip, is faith. From the story of the storm to Gideon to the pagan cities, faith seems to be a common thread. Where is our faith in the midst of the storm? What about when things aren't going exactly like we plan or we are called to something uncomfortable? What about those friends we don't believe will ever come to know Jesus as their savior? I know today challenged my faith and convicted me as I thought about my life and how often times my faith is lacking. God has been gracious in opening my eyes to see my need of his provision of faith, which is why my prayer is that of the father in Mark 9, "I believe; help my unbelief!"